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For many couples, a wedding ceremony is the most nerve-wracking event of their entire wedding day – especially if they’re not used to the “limelight.” Simply walking down the aisle is an emotionally charged moment. Factor in writing personal vows to each other, and it’s no wonder why so many brides and grooms become anxious at the thought of reciting such intimate promises and sentiments to each other in front of a crowd. This is why professionals like Tanya Pushkine, also known as “The Vow Whisperer,” are such an invaluable part of the wedding experience. Not only does Tanya help couples organize and dictate their thoughts on paper – she also gives them the tools to confidently deliver those wedding vows when the big day comes.

When couples enlist Tanya’s help, she makes it clear that she is not the writer. “It has to be in their words, not mine. I want people to stand up there and say words that come from their hearts, that come from their souls. Whatever level it’s at, I will edit and make suggestions. I will come up with a structure, and we go back and forth until that person is happy with their vows.”

Initially, Tanya will speak with a couple together to establish the tone of the wedding and vibe they’re going for. The rest of the process involves working with each partner separately, asking numerous questions, and balancing out the two sets of vows while also keeping them a secret.

“I don’t believe that vows should be a Hallmark card,” she shares. “You’re in a world where you’re telling a story, and everybody has gone through something. As a couple, I like to encourage people to talk about something that makes them stronger and be specific. If a bride says, ‘I love how generous he is,’ I ask, ‘What does that mean?’ It’s mini therapy, in a way. When we start to talk about what you want to promise to each other, all of this requires thought and reflection. It’s not superficial like, ‘I met you at a bar.’ We go deeper than that. Very often, what they discover becomes a cornerstone looking into the future. It’s not just to prepare them for the ceremony – a lot of this really prepares them for marriage.”

As a former actress, one of Tanya’s greatest strengths is teaching her clients how to deliver the vows they’ve written. She has clients stand up and rehearse, focusing on enunciation and eye contact. “People are terrified of speaking in public, and it’s my job to make them confident,” she adds. “I’ll go and rehearse with them up to one hour before the ceremony. That one last rehearsal puts them at such ease.”

With The Vow Whisperer services being completely customizable, each couple is free to focus on their individual needs. Whether it’s writing, speaking, or making sure the two sets of wedding vows complement each other, bringing a professional onboard ensures the couple and their guests have a memorable ceremony.

Speaking in theater terms, Tanya advises couples to consider the fourth wall between themselves and the audience. “Make your guests part of it,” she states. “Whether you’re laughing or crying, make it an interactive experience. It’s about bringing your guests into your story. When couples are turning to their guests when they’re talking and not just staring at each other, it creates a very unique experience – a feeling from top to bottom.”

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>Written By: Lauren Malamala


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